It's my birthday today and I'm 50. People have been asking, "how does it feel to be the big 5-0" and I can honestly say GREAT.

In fact, I haven't been this excited about a birthday since the day I turned 10. See the little eager beaver pictured at left.

I didn't have this feeling when I turned 20, or 30 or 40. So what is it that is special for me about 10 and 50?

I remember when I turned 10 it felt so monumental - double digits! Never again in my life would I be just a single digit kid. I felt so grown-up compared to all those poor kids who were still single digits.

Turning 50, I have a similar sense. I feel like I am now a grown-up. Sounds silly, I know. But don't you find that even though the number on your driver's license says that you are an adult, you often feel like an insecure kid inside? I know I do. Somehow turning 50 tells me that I am definitely grown up. And I'm looking forward to doing grown up things.

Like speaking my mind more often.

And extending compassion whenever I see the opportunity.

And reading lots and lots about other cultures.

And being more responsible.

And being more frivolous.

And being OK with not knowing.

What about you? What does being grown-up mean to you?

The following article was written by Elizabeth Jun'en Allen, who is a life coach and former Novice Monastic in the Mountains and Rivers Order at the Zen Mountain Monastery in Mt. Tremper, New York. I am grateful to Elizabeth for permitting me to print her candid and thoughtful article here.

Why do people choose the monastic life?

People chose the monastic life for many complex reasons. Some feel called to it, some don't know what else to do with their lives, some don't know how to live in "regular" society, some don't want to live in "regular" society.

I think it's fair to say that everyone who gets ordained does so because being a monastic somehow makes them feel "better" inside. After ordination, motivations continue to grow and
change, just as people do.

For myself, much of the call to monastic life lay in the fact that I had an inherent sense of myself as bad. I felt that the monastic life was how I could make some good come of my existence. Being at the monastery was the first time I felt good about myself and how I was living my life.

I came to understand this justification and left the order just prior to full ordination. I had completed almost four years in monastic residence, as a lay student, postulant, and novice monastic.

Are monks really that much more evolved?

Not necessarily. They are just people. I have encountered monastics who are no more evolved than you or me. I have encountered those whose commitment and practice blow me away and make me feel humbled to be in their presence. I've encountered "false" monastics who appear

Let the good in me
connect with the good
in others,
until all the world
is transformed through
the compelling power
of love.
— Rebbe Nachman in The Gentle Weapon

The following article by Dorraine Fisher won first prize in the WelcomeJoy writing contest.

I learned fairly recently that the most important things I know in life came from my Grandpa. He passed away several years ago, but his memory lives on for me every single day in the way I now live my life.

Grandpa was probably the happiest person I ever knew for reasons I never quite understood in my younger days.

He took a lot of criticism from other people for the seemingly lazy way he lived, but he kept on smiling.

He didn’t get too upset about anything, and he didn’t change his ways for anyone.

Those slow summer days spent on my visits to the grandparent’s farm are still fresh in my mind. There was a big picture window by the kitchen table that Grandpa had happily installed with a big bird feeder attached to the outside of the window sill.