In this article, Jacqui Tew shares how her sister's diagnosis with thyriod cancer taught her how to stop worrying about things that she had no control over.
When my sister was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, my need to help her leapt into action. She was ill with cancer three times and then had two back operations. All in all, she stayed in hospital 19 times over eleven years.
At first it was perhaps my family instinct to want to help her. As time went on, I became frustrated at her lack of wanting to help herself.
One great lesson she taught me was that you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink!
Her first cancer was in the thyroid and after having it removed she was put on a daily dose of thyroxin. Initially I used to ask her if she had had her thyroxin tablets for that day and she would say she had not done so. I used to worry because I knew it was essential for her to take this medication.
A wise mentor told me that my sister was an adult and it was her choice as to whether she took the pills or not.
One day, I made the great decision not to ask about the pills. My sister then told me she had not taken them. I told her that was a matter for her as it was her life.
For weeks, on a daily basis, she continued to tell me that she had not yet taken the pills for that day and I said nothing.
After a few months, there was no need for a conversation on pills. This was a great weight off my mind and I had also given her the freedom to take her own responsibility.
My fear had been that she would die if she did not take the pills. This was not actually my choice to make. What my sister does with her life is up to her. It has been a hard, but extremely worthwhile lesson for me. My sister has given me the gift of freedom from worrying about something over which I have no control.
Jacqui Tew is a Stroke and Memory Coach who can be reached at jacquitew[at]clara.co.uk
This article was selected for the blog carnival Observations on Life.
