Recently I met a lovely woman named Linda Boos. She told me about some of the struggles she has overcome in her life. I was struck by how much life wisdom she has gained from her experiences, and I asked her to contribute to the WelcomeJoy ebook. She agreed, and this is what she wrote:

"There was a time when I confused joy and happiness. Being happy is a feeling, while joy is a state of mind, a whole body experience. Joy is always there, even in the worst of times. The joy and gratitude I carry with me sustain me when things are not as they should be.

One of my most joyous peace filled moments was holding my mother’s hand as she completed her earthly journey. My father and I both left that room feeling more peace than I think we had for awhile. I was actually smiling (I guess you just had to be there). Joy and gratitude define me: they are expressions of my soul that others see.

My life has not always been easy. I have had my share of bumps and bruises along the way. Twenty years ago I came to grips with my alcoholism and started to learn about gratitude then. Being grateful for toilet paper is an art that I developed when I could not find anything else to be grateful for! As my sense of what is important developed, I became more and more grateful and my joy started to appear.

I have a friend who told me in my darkest times, that she would hold the dreams in the palms of her hands until I was ready to take them back. It was a good while before I was able to take them back, but take them back I did.

Deep joy is always there. While you may not always feel “happy”, peace and gratitude can always be present. My dream holder friend, when asked how she is, most always replies with “I am blessed”.

This is a woman with four girls, who at times worked three or four jobs to make ends meet. Her husband had challenges and for a time she was the sole breadwinner. I often thought that her response was fake, just a pat response so others would think everything was okay.

But now I realize she has deep joy. Recently I experienced that feeling of wanting to respond with “I am blessed”. I was pondering and realized that I am truly blessed and that acknowledging blessedness is a byproduct of recognizing the joy within.

The easiest way for me to spread joy is just to be me. I wish I could package it and sell it on the corner. The best I can do reach out to others, not worry about what I am getting, but concentrate on what I give.

Most importantly, my joy and gratitude now allow me to hold other’s dreams in the palms of my hands until they are ready to take them back."

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If you would like to contact Linda Boos you can e-mail her at lsboos [at] columbus.rr.com

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Little Miss Sunshine is a totally delightful movie. I put it in my all-time top three comedies (the other two are A Fish Called Wanda and The Big Lebowski). Please note that I use the term "comedy" advisedly - all the of the movies mentioned are definitely black comedies.

This is a quirky, sweet movie about an odd family on a road-trip. There's the dad, a relentlessly positive motivational-speaker who is desperate for a book deal. And the scholarly depressed uncle who is staying with the family after a mental breakdown. The acerbic teenage son who has taken a vow of silence and communicates only by writing short notes. The plain little girl who dreams of winning in a child beauty pageant. The aging hippy grandpa who snorts cocaine and advises his grandson to get all the sex he can while he's young. And the mom who tries to keep the peace among all of them.

Oh, and let's not forget possibly the most important character of all...the aging VW van that carries them to their destination.

Some of my favorite Little Miss Sunshine quotes:

I loved this movie, but one word of warning: the grandpa swears like a biker. If liberal use of the f word ruins a movie for you, then I'd advise against Little Miss Sunshine. But if you're ok with coarse language, and you appreciate a well-written and beautifully acted movie, then go rent the DVD tonight!

I'm very pleased to be able to share this essay written by my colleague Noel Posus. Noel is one of the most delightful people I've ever met. I think when you read his article you'll understand why I say that. Enjoy!

"Everyday I feel joy, and I’m incredibly grateful for it. I must admit however that there have been times when joy seems a bit hard to come by, and during some of those darker moments, the search for joy itself seemed to be even more difficult.

I’ve learned a number of lessons regarding joy over the years, and many of them in the past nearly twenty years as a life coach. Coaching may have taught me the tools to connect with joy, but it’s actually been other experiences that anchor the most joy in my life.

And by creating metaphors for my life, for strength and for any time when I need to tap into my inner resourcefulness, I have learned how to connect with joy in an instant!

Here’s my metaphor for joy, and I thank you in advance for allowing me to share it with you.

When I was a professional dancer

Many years ago, before I was a coach, I was a professional dancer. To this day dance is a central part of my life although I don’t spend much time on a stage anymore. Everything I experienced in dance brought joy to my life, even the injuries, the missteps and the unsuccessful shows.

My own coach asked me about a time in my life when I felt the strongest, and that I felt I had the resources to address any situation, no matter what. I instantly connected with dance, and I was able to make a number of connections from the dancing world to my current existence.

For example, the stage itself is also the stage on which I dance life now. It may be the

One of the things I dislike most in the world is entertaining. And yet today, I am having 16 people over to my house for a birthday party. And I'm happy about it.

What? Isn't that a huge contradiction?

Let me explain. Yes, it's true that I dislike entertaining. I'm an introvert by nature and entertaining makes me very anxious. It also exhausts me emotionally.

So why do I do it? To give a good time to my family and friends. Today, for example, is my elderly aunt's birthday. She's a widow and her only daughter lives quite far away. I wanted my aunt to feel really special on her birthday. So I invited the whole extended family and am making a special afternoon tea for her.

Not only will my aunt feel special, but I know my mom (my aunt's sister) feels proud that I am doing this.

I think about these two women who have hosted countless birthday parties, Easter celebrations, and Christmas feasts over the years...and it seems only fitting that they now get to be hosted.

So that's why I'm happy about doing something I dislike.

Note added May 9, 2007: This article was chosen to be included in the Carnivals of Miracles.

A wise person once said to me, "We become like the 5 people we spend the most time with."

That's a powerful statement.

Think about it: even as adults we are subtly influenced by "peer pressure". We tend to pick up on the attitudes, language and mood of the people we hang out with.

So who are the 5 people you spend the most time with? Do they embody the "Welcome Joy" attitude towards life? Or are they negative, cynical and blaming?

And how do they treat you? Note who you enjoy being around. A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself "after spending time with this person, do I feel stronger or weaker?" The answer can give you important clues on who to spend time with.

If you want to feel joyful, choose to have people in your life who:

· Treat you with love and respect

· Want the best for you as you define it

· Help you find out what you want to do and how to do it

· Encourage you to explore all your talents and interests

· Are thrilled when you succeed

· Listen to you when you need to complain

· Help you learn from failure without making you feel like a bad person

I encourage you to spend less time with critical people and more time with those who appreciate you. You'll notice a difference in how you feel about yourself and how much joy you experience.

Note added June 4, 2007: This article was chosen to be included in the following blog carnivals: Powerful Living; Positive Thinking; Observations on Life; Brain Fitness; Happiness Carnival and Carnival of Life.

Lori Radun, Certified Life Coach for Moms writes about how gratitude can help moms get through their day with grace.

How can gratitude help us in our everyday lives as moms? Think about the difference you can make in your family's life just by noticing and being thankful for all the great things they do.

When you express gratitude, you show your love and appreciation. Everyone needs to feel these things every day. But sometimes as moms we feel that no one appreciates us - and it is true that moms are usually last on the list to be thanked.

One way you can teach gratitude is by example. Even on the days when it seems your children or husband are doing everything wrong, find a reason to thank them. Take the time and energy to look for the good. Think about the things that your family does that deserve a thank you. You might say to your husband, "Thank you for working so hard for our family," or to your child, "I really appreciate your sense of humor - it feels good to laugh."

Expressing your gratitude helps family members to understand how it feels to be appreciated. And if they still don't catch on, let them know when you feel unappreciated. You can also tell them how great it makes you feel when they do express gratitude.

Excerpted from the article “The Power of Gratitude” available at iSnare.com

If you liked the article Joy is Not the Same as Happiness, you'll enjoy this other thoughtful contribution from life coach Linda Boos.

What brings you joy? I often hear that question and recently have pondered what it really means.

Here’s my thought: I don’t think anything brings joy. I believe joy is often triggered and brought out by others, but joy is not brought to me. I know this might seem like an insignificant distinction, but let’s take a look at it for a minute.

When we are brought something, it is usually a passive act. We receive and do not necessarily give anything back. It is possible for someone to bring their joy into our life, to allow us to experience their joy and to even bask in their joy with them. But our own joy is not something, that I believe, any person, place or thing brings us. If that were so, many of us, in our current circumstances might not experience our own joy, but only the vicarious joy of others.

I do not see joy as a passive expression, it is not something I am waiting for, it is something that is always with me, always part of me. Many people, places and things trigger my joy – my kids giving me hugs before bed, my dogs licking my face, my cats purring loudly, and not the least – my husband holding me in his arms. For me to sit and wait for someone or something to bring me joy would make me dependent upon the outside world to make me fulfilled.

I learned long ago that the outside can only enhance the inside. Everything I need I carry within. My lifetime of joy is already a part of me; others can only stimulate my joy and cause me to want to let it out, so that others may bask in it.

Linda Boos is a Life Coach who can be contacted at lsboos[at]columbus.rr.com

It's my birthday today and I'm 50. People have been asking, "how does it feel to be the big 5-0" and I can honestly say GREAT.

In fact, I haven't been this excited about a birthday since the day I turned 10. See the little eager beaver pictured at left.

I didn't have this feeling when I turned 20, or 30 or 40. So what is it that is special for me about 10 and 50?

I remember when I turned 10 it felt so monumental - double digits! Never again in my life would I be just a single digit kid. I felt so grown-up compared to all those poor kids who were still single digits.

Turning 50, I have a similar sense. I feel like I am now a grown-up. Sounds silly, I know. But don't you find that even though the number on your driver's license says that you are an adult, you often feel like an insecure kid inside? I know I do. Somehow turning 50 tells me that I am definitely grown up. And I'm looking forward to doing grown up things.

Like speaking my mind more often.

And extending compassion whenever I see the opportunity.

And reading lots and lots about other cultures.

And being more responsible.

And being more frivolous.

And being OK with not knowing.

What about you? What does being grown-up mean to you?

Let the good in me
connect with the good
in others,
until all the world
is transformed through
the compelling power
of love.
— Rebbe Nachman in The Gentle Weapon

The following article by Dorraine Fisher won first prize in the WelcomeJoy writing contest.

I learned fairly recently that the most important things I know in life came from my Grandpa. He passed away several years ago, but his memory lives on for me every single day in the way I now live my life.

Grandpa was probably the happiest person I ever knew for reasons I never quite understood in my younger days.

He took a lot of criticism from other people for the seemingly lazy way he lived, but he kept on smiling.

He didn’t get too upset about anything, and he didn’t change his ways for anyone.

Those slow summer days spent on my visits to the grandparent’s farm are still fresh in my mind. There was a big picture window by the kitchen table that Grandpa had happily installed with a big bird feeder attached to the outside of the window sill.

Adrienne L. Bliss writes in Adbusters magazine about walking her dog Buddy.

"I am outside in the snow walking my dog buddy across a field by our house. It is his favorite place because there are lots of good "smells". I take him off the leash and we run.

...During our walk, I notice him limping and stop. He immediately turns to me and lifts his paw for me to clean the snow that had become packed in-between the pads of his foot. In that moment, the world was perfectly clear and in sharp focus. Time stopped. The colors were brighter because I knew pure love and trust."

In this article, Jacqui Tew shares how her sister's diagnosis with thyriod cancer taught her how to stop worrying about things that she had no control over.

When my sister was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, my need to help her leapt into action. She was ill with cancer three times and then had two back operations. All in all, she stayed in hospital 19 times over eleven years.

At first it was perhaps my family instinct to want to help her. As time went on, I became frustrated at her lack of wanting to help herself.

One great lesson she taught me was that you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink!

Her first cancer was in the thyroid and after having it removed she was put on a daily dose of thyroxin. Initially I used to ask her if she had had her thyroxin tablets for that day and she would say she had not done so. I used to worry because I knew it was essential for her to take this medication.

Cradling a coffee to my lips like a prayer in a begging bowl, I sat alone. The owner of the hotel, a friend, kept throwing me reassuring glances. The lights on the huge Christmas tree twinkled and raucous laughter and the smell of beer drifted in from the public bar next door.

A pretty dark eyed Polish waitress and the owner’s son and daughter smiled as they rushed back and forwards from the bar, fussing around thirty elderly residents from a local nursing home who sat at a long table drinking tea and coffee, clinking their teaspoons as they relaxed after their annual Christmas meal.

Some sat very still, their hands clasped in their laps, their eyes rheumy, dreaming perhaps of Christmases past. One dignified man in a tweed jacket and sombre tie smiled and thanked the waitress graciously for every small service. A bald man with ruddy cheeks leaned over to chat to friends who had to strain to hear, their lined faces creased in smiles.

“That’s them comin’, Charlie!” shouted one of the regulars at the bar and my heart started pounding. A group of bustling schoolchildren in school uniform was herded in by two teachers, one anxiously smiling, the other firmly issuing orders in a hushed voice that brooked no opposition.

Tall gangly boys with dishevelled uniforms jostled with nervously giggling girls as they took off coats and scarves and flustered around, gathering sheet music and producing shining brass trumpets and trombones from black leather cases lined in red velvet.

One lad heaved from a heavy case an accordion that was almost as big as him. Several of the girls spotted me, smiled, whispered to my daughter, nudged her and pointed: “Look, Annie! There’s yer mum!” She saw me, broke into a sunny grin and waved a shy half wave as I smiled back and fought to stop myself grinning like a doting idiot. Her teacher leaned down smiling and whispered to me “You’ll be glad you came.” One of my daughter’s classmates started to announce the short programme. “Thank you for inviting us to come here to entertain you today.”

A short dance routine, a brass band Christmas tune, a boy playing Flower of Scotland on the accordion. I listened with half an ear, clapping loudly at the end of each performance but ever aware of my beating heart and the faces of the old folk.

And there she was. My baby, standing tall and proud in front of the assembled choir of young people I’d known since they’d played with sand and plasticine at playgroup. Nearly as tall as me now, silver tinsel in her blonde pony tail, the same intense look in her pale turquoise eyes that I’d seen in every photograph of me growing up.

My friend Charlie looked over, saw me struggling with a lump in my throat and the throb of unshed tears as my girl began to sing. “It was on a starry night…” and then he looked at me, looked back at my daughter, stunned.

He’d never heard her sing, knew only that I was a proud mum, knew that like him, I’d lost my elderly mum before she’d had the chance to know her youngest grandchildren. “And the angels sang for him…” The public bar fell silent. “The bells in heaven rang for him…”

As her golden voice wrapped itself around everyone in the room, I felt my mother’s arms around me, holding me together. I saw the faces of those proud old people transfixed and tears streaming down their faces. After her last note had faded away into silence, there was a pause before the whole room started clapping.

The children gathered up their instruments and sheet music, chatting and giggling proudly and Annie came over to me, her face beaming. She grew anxious when she saw my blotchy face but when I smiled, unable to speak, and pulled her to me; she stroked my hair with a wisdom beyond her years and gave me a huge, silent hug.

Submitted by by Janice Hunter, Writer and HomeLIfe Coach. Contact: janice [at] lovingthedetails.com

Why is it so hard to tell our loved ones exactly what they mean to us? You want to tell your partner how you feel about them but you end up staring at a blank screen for so long you give up. Or you try a few lines only to delete them all and start over. Again.

Don’t let words get in the way of telling your loved one how much they mean to you.

Oftentimes we think that those closest to us know exactly how we feel about them and how important they are to us. But the sad reality is that usually they don’t. And everyone wants to be loved.

So how can you write a love letter that you will feel proud to give and one that your loved one will cherish for all time? Where do you start? Follow these easy tips below and you’ll be on your way in no time.

1. First write down 5 things that you love about your partner and be as specific as possible. Rather than writing that they are kind, instead be detailed about how they are kind. Perhaps they always smile at waiters in restaurants or they are great at making people feel included, especially at parties.

2. Write down 5 things that they have done that confirms how much you love them and again, give examples. Perhaps they enveloped you in a hug last night when you were feeling frustrated about your family. Or maybe they knew how disappointed you were when you missed out on that promotion and they cooked a special meal to cheer you up.

3. Pick the best three examples from each of the above categories and weave them into your letter. You could start by saying ‘I love how you…’ and then include the three examples from the first point. Then you could say something like ‘I loved the way you…’ and then mention the other examples. Make sure you emphasize how their actions made you feel, how loved you felt and how grateful you are to have them in your life.

4. Write up a draft first and then go over it to see if you can improve it. Sometimes it helps to write up what you want to say, edit it until it flows well and then leave it for a day or two before going back for a final edit and polish.

5. Buy some special paper and write out your letter. Don’t worry if your handwriting isn’t perfect – it’s distinctly yours and your loved one will appreciate the time and effort you put into the letter. If you feel your writing is so bad it will be difficult to read or if your illegible handwriting is something you’ve argued about before then pay to get it hand written by a professional. At a stretch you could use a more romantic font on your computer, say Garamond in italic, but you should really only do that as a last resort. The more personal you can make your letter the more your loved one will treasure it.

6. Have fun with how you deliver this letter to them. Will you slip it in their briefcase? Mail it? Leave it under the pillow? Do you want to be there when they open it? If you want to see their reaction, then it is best to hand it to them. You could team the letter up with a small gift like flowers or chocolate but make sure the gift doesn’t diminish the letter as you want that to be the main focus.

Submitted by Jill Brennan, creator of the “101 Love Letters” system available at www.loveyouletters.com